508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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