just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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