you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
