the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
