Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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