She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize