All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
