what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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