It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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