I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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