Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
