Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
