You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize