Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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