I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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