Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
