If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
