Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
