We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
