I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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