I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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