it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
