can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
