Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is it because I queefed?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
