If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
