so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
