Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
