are you so shy because you have an std?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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