that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
