Have you finally orgasmed yet?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
