Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There's always time for handjobs
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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