Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
