I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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