Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
