Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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