Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
