Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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