trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
