i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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