when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
