well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
