I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
