I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
