Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
