It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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