are you still at the devil's house?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
