His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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