But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
