i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
