I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Randomize
