Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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