i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
