Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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