Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just had sex bonerless
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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