it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
