I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize