A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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