Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize