Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
