I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize