"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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