i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
