help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
