Define "chronic" masturbator.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
