If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize