look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
