It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
