Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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