i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
