my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
