I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I lost the right to judge tonight
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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